Hot Takes

CeeDee Lamb Signs $136 Million Contract, Immediately Decides to Give It All to Cowboys' Entry-Level Workers

“These folks been holding it down while I catch passes. They deserve it more than I do,” Lamb said, while handing out giant novelty checks.

Trey Lance Feels Awkward About Likely Taking One of 53 Roster Spots After Five Interceptions

Apologizing to his teammates, and coaches for “taking up space that could have gone to someone who doesn't turn it over 5 times a game."

Cowboys Players Hold Fantasy Football Draft: CeeDee Lamb Slides to Fifth Round Amid Holdout Concerns

Longtime fantasy league commissioner and backup QB Cooper Rush echoed, “I guess we all know a bit too much about each other's business."

Mike McCarthy Admits Cutting Players Is Hardest Part of Training Camp—Not Because of Emotions, But Due to His Terrible Talent Evaluation Skills

“It’s not just about them succeeding elsewhere; it’s about them rubbing it in my face,” he said, sniffling into a box of tissues.

CeeDee Lamb Rejects $33 Million Cowboys Offer, Confident "Lucrative" Major League Pickleball Career

“Those league endorsements are no joke—just look at the sponsorship deals from orthopedic shoe companies and reverse mortgages!” Lamb said.

Jerry Jones Embarrassed Not Knowing Basic Rules of Football, Seeks Secret Tutoring from Troy Aikman

In a desperate bid to prevent public humiliation, Jones has enlisted Cowboys legend and NFL broadcaster Troy Aikman for covert tutoring.

Mahomes Renegotiating Contract to be a Cowboy, by Swapping Entire Chiefs Organization with the Cowboys

The proposal would see every player, coach, and even the front office of the Chiefs switch places with their counterparts in Dallas.