Hot Takes

Cowboys Trade for Nose Tackle Jordan Phillips, Confuse Him with Safety Jordan Poyer

In what analysts are calling an "honest mistake," Dallas traded for nose tackle Jordan Phillips after really wanting safety Jordan Poyer.

Cowboys Beg Roger Goodell to Switch Bye Week After Realizing They Can't Go to Taylor Swift Concert

“I can't believe we didn’t check the schedule,” lamented quarterback Dak Prescott, holding up his non-refundable, overpriced ticket.

Cowboys Offensive Linemen Bothered by Suspicion They’re Only Valued for Blocking

“It’s like the team's interest in me is purely transactional and that hurts. I’m a human being with feelings,' admitted rookie Tyler Guyton.

Dallas Cowboys Become First $10 Billion Team, Still Can’t Buy a Win in January

“Now if only it was enough money to buy a time machine to take us back to 1996 when we actually mattered!” owner Jerry Jones lamented.

Mike McCarthy Admits He Looks Forward to Preseason Games Just to See Himself on TV

As a kid McCarthy dreamed that being on TV was the epitome of fame and success. “To me, it was like being a superhero," he said with a grin.

Post Office Finally Discovers 24 Year Old Apology Letter from Terrell Owens to Jerry Jones

The letter, sent after Owens’ celebration on the Cowboys' midfield star, was discovered beneath a stack of Sears catalogs and AOL trial CDs.

Emmitt Smith, 55, Eyes Cowboys Return After Zeke Re-Signed: “If He Can Do It, So Can I”

“I mean, if Zeke can get another deal, why not me?” said Smith, the NFL’s all-time leading rusher, while casually stretching his hamstrings.