Hot Takes

Dak Prescott Enjoys Olympics, Still Baffled by Time Zones

Training in Oxnard hasn’t helped. “I tuned in for the swimming finals at 3 a.m. but caught the equestrian highlights instead,” he sighed.

Cowboys Coach Mike McCarthy Admits: “I’d Be Shocked If We Win the Super Bowl”

“Every year, I stand up here & say this is our year,” McCarthy said. “But let’s face it, I’d be shocked if we actually win the Super Bowl."

Jerry Jones Has Epiphany: Hire Qualified Professionals Instead of His Own Kids

“All this time, I thought nepotism was a strategy for success,” Jones said, rubbing his temples. “But Bronny helped ne see the light."

CeeDee Lamb's Contract Negotiations Stall Over Weekend Work Schedule

“I’m just tired of working weekends,” Lamb said. “I miss out on Saturday nights with my boys because I’ve always got a game the next day."

Jerry Jones Anxiously Awaits Madden Rankings for NFL Owners, Hopes for a 99

Despite being informed that Madden ratings are exclusively for players, Jones remains undeterred. “There’s gotta be a ranking for owners.”

Zeke Elliott Returns to Cowboys, Discovers New Hobby of Extreme Couponing

While Elliott's new contract is lighter on the wallet, he's embracing his frugal side with clipping coupons and hunting for BOGO deals.

Cowboys Rookies Disappointed to Find Training Camp Lacks Summer Camp Vibes

"No s'mores," he sighed. "How am I supposed to bond with the team if we can't even toast marshmallows together?" Rookie T Guyton lamented.