Hot Takes

Cowboys Running Backs Shocked to Discover "Competing for Starting Job" Isn't About Job Start Dates

Royce Freeman confessed he had been waiting for a "start date" email from Coach Mike McCarthy. "I kept checking my inbox." he said baffled.

Cowboys' Empty Stands at Training Camp Due to Jerry Jones' High School Reunion Fiasco

Unbeknownst to most, Jones had reserved the seats for his high school reunion, which he personally organized.

Cowboys Regret Signing Trey Lance Because He’s Bad at Football, But Still Love Him as a “Great Guy and Friend”

Dak Prescott said “He’s so charming, I understand why he was drafted 3rd overall. Let’s just say it couldn’t have been because of his play.”

Mike McCarthy Accidentally Insults Entire Team by Declaring Micah Parsons Could Be Best at Any Position

“He could take anyone’s job here." McCarthy declared unprompted in a press conference, completely missing the awkward silence that followed.

Dak Elated to Discover Can Eat Turducken Anytime, Not Just After Thanksgiving Day Game

Dak was grinning ear to ear this week after the groundbreaking epiphany: he can eat Turducken whenever he wants, and no one can stop him.

Dak Prescott's Birthday Cake Fiasco: 55-Foot Big Tex Cake Goes Uneaten

Prescott made a critical error: he had the colossal confection constructed in Dallas while he's stuck at training camp in California.

Jerry Jones 'Invents' Flag Football to Reduce Injuries, Discovers It's Been Around for Decades

DALLAS—In a bid to protect his players, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones announced the groundbreaking invention of a new, injury-free sport he’s...