Hot Takes

Trevon Diggs' ACL Recovery So Fast, NFL Suspects Time Travel

"Either Trevon's recovery is a miracle, or he found a DeLorean," said Dr. Smith, the team's physician. "We're leaning towards the latter."

CeeDee Lamb Devotes Entire Youth Football Camp to Negotiating Contract Extension

"I'm here to teach these kids the importance of commitment—like, say, to a multi-million dollar deal," Lamb quipped.

Denzel Washington Debates Adding 10th Streaming Service to Watch Cowboys Game, Fears Financial Ruin

"I've already got more subscriptions than Oscars," Washington sighed, surrounded by stacks of bills.

Troy Aikman Mystified by Decades-Long Broadcast Partnership with "Some Guy Named Joe Buck"

"I keep showing up to the booth, and there he is, talking about football and stuff," Aikman lamented, scratching his head in disbelief.

Michael Irvin Converts Weightlifting Sessions into Rowdy Religious Rallies

"When I'm pumping iron and the preacher's booming, it's like I'm doing bench presses straight to heaven," Irvin exclaimed.

Jason Garrett Continues Crafting Super Bowl Winning Speech in Shower

"I've got it all planned out: thank Jerry, thank the fans, maybe throw in a 'How 'bout them Cowboys!' for good measure," Garrett chuckled.

Roger Staubach's Pushed to Rename Cowboys "Dallas Midshipmen" Memoir Reveals

"I thought it was a great idea to bring Navy pride to Texas," Staubach explained, reflecting on the uproar it caused with team management.