OXNARD, CA—The Dallas Cowboys are facing a unique dilemma after watching Trey Lance’s performance on the field and realizing he’s embarrassingly bad at football.
“We thought we were getting a steal on a future star,” said a flustered Jerry Jones. “Instead, we got a highlight reel of every possible mistake.”
Despite Lance’s on-field struggles, team members have been quick to praise his off-field presence. “He’s like the nicest guy ever,” said quarterback Dak Prescott. “He’s so charming, I understand why he was drafted 3rd overall. Let’s just say it couldn’t have been because of his play.”
Coaches and players alike have begun hosting “Trey Lance Appreciation Days,” celebrating his knack for making everyone laugh and his admirable snack-fetching skills. “He may not throw a spiral, but he sure knows how to throw a party,” said head coach Mike McCarthy. “We may regret the signing, but we’re not regretting the friendship.”
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