OXNARD, CA—In a surprising twist, the Dallas Cowboys' highly anticipated training camp in Oxnard, California, has been revealed to be nothing more than an elaborate beach vacation disguised as football preparation.
"We thought it was odd that our practice drills involved sandcastles and sunscreen," chuckled quarterback Dak Prescott, sporting flip-flops and a sun hat during what was supposed to be a scrimmage.
Sources close to the team uncovered that "two-a-day practices" were actually intensive sessions on perfecting beach volleyball serves and mastering the art of paddleboarding. "Coach said team bonding was crucial, but we didn't realize it meant sunset bonfires and s'mores," commented wide receiver CeeDee Lamb, balancing a plate of roasted marshmallows.
Despite concerns from fans about the team's commitment, owner Jerry Jones defended the approach, insisting that "California vibes" are essential for championship-caliber relaxation.
At press time, the Cowboys were seen strategizing their next move—likely deciding between surfing lessons or team yoga on the sand.
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