DALLAS—Former Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett revealed in a recent interview that he continues to daydream about winning a Super Bowl as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, despite being fired from the position in 2020. Often rehearsing his victory speech in the shower.
"I've got it all planned out: thank Jerry [Jones], thank the fans, maybe throw in a 'How 'bout them Cowboys!' for good measure," Garrett chuckled, adjusting his imaginary championship ring made of soap.
Sources close to Garrett disclosed he frequently draws up game-winning plays using shampoo bottles as offensive players and conditioner bottles as defenders.
"I still believe in my heart that one day I'll hoist that Lombardi Trophy above my head as the head coach of America’s Team," Garrett admitted, scrubbing vigorously to simulate confetti showers.
Despite his departure from coaching, Garrett remains hopeful that his meticulous shower speeches and innovative hair-care-based strategies will one day lead him to Super Bowl glory on the bigstage and not just in front of his bathroom mirror.
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