DALLAS—Just one week into the NFL season, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has already begun rehearsing his Lombardi Trophy acceptance speech, despite the Super Bowl being five months away and the team’s sole win being against the hapless Deshaun Watson-led Browns. In an enthusiastic display of preemptive triumph, Jones has reportedly been staging elaborate role-playing sessions in his office.
In these rehearsals, Jones forces Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy to don a suit and act as NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, where he’s forced to feign enthusiasm, and hand a pretend Lombardi Trophy to Jones.
Jones then practices graciously accepting the trophy, dramatically declaring, “How ‘bout them Cowboys!” to an imaginary crowd of jubilant fans. Sources say McCarthy’s performance as Goodell involves a lot of sighing and pretending to be slightly bored.
“Jerry’s really committed,” said one insider. “He’s even practicing the awkward hug he’ll give Goodell when he realizes the trophy is heavier than expected.”
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