DALLAS—In a stunning display of passive aggression, Cowboys QB Dak Prescott and owner Jerry Jones are turning contract talks into an art form, answering media questions about Dak’s contract negotiations with a level of politeness that could cut glass.
When asked if Prescott will get a pay raise before the season starts, Jones smiled broadly and said, “Well, we love Dak, and we’re sure he’s content with the millions he’s already making. Why rush, right? We value Dak—like an old pickup truck, reliable but maybe not worth breaking the bank for.”
Prescott, not to be outdone, responded to reporters, “I’d love to stay a Cowboy for life, just as soon as the front office decides I’m worth it. I’m just here to play football. If the organization values me enough to invest in me, great. If not, I’ll just keep throwing touchdowns… for somebody.”
The duo’s carefully crafted comments have left fans and analysts bewildered, as both parties seem intent on bottling up years of frustration. Meanwhile, Jones is rumored to be pricing out Dak-shaped piñatas.
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