In a surprising turn of events, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been left flabbergasted by the audacious demands of star players like CeeDee Lamb and Dak Prescott. Apparently, after having standout seasons, these players have the nerve to ask for... market rates! Who could have seen this coming?
Jones, ever the frugal businessman, was reportedly overheard saying, "What do they want next? Health benefits?!" while scratching his head over the concept of fair compensation. "They did well, so now they want more money? Is that how this works?" he added.
Sources say he was last seen furiously Googling "how much do other good players get paid" before the owner with a net worth north of $14 billion released a statement telling fans it’s not fair for players to make so much more money than they do.
Meanwhile, Lamb and Prescott are practicing their best poker faces, as they wait to see if Jones will fork over the big bucks or try to pay them in BBQ sauce and a lifetime supply of cowboy hats. Early reports indicate Jones plans to eventually cave, but is enjoying the media attention until then.
At press time, standout defensive player Micah Parsons was seen on Expedia’s website planning a family vacation for the dates the 2025 Cowboys team is scheduled to report for camp in Oxnard, CA.
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