DALLAS— Cowboys quarterback Trey Lance is reportedly feeling intense guilt over likely occupying one of the team’s 53 roster spots after his disappointing performance of five interceptions in the final preseason game.
Lance, whose tenure has been a parade of letdowns and missed opportunities, is now second-guessing whether his spot might be better used by someone who, at the very least, could turn the ball over fewer than five times a game.
Lance, who threw five interceptions to go along with taking three sacks and fumbling twice, was overheard apologizing to his teammates, coaches, and even the waterboys for “taking up space that could have gone to someone who at least can pass the ball to their own team.”
“I’m really sorry for ruining that last game,” Lance told reporters, adjusting his helmet awkwardly. “I promise to work harder on my game, but if you need me to leave to make room for a player who can, you know, contribute positively, I totally understand.”
In a statement, Cowboys’ coach Mike McCarthy reassured fans that “Trey’s spot is secure, because there simply aren’t enough good quarterbacks walking planet Earth.”
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